new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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