Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
