why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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