went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
