when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
