He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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