I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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