I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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