Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
