too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
