We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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