someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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