I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I touched a dick in church today
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
