Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
