um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
