you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
