Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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