That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
