She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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