So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My vagina is very pro this idea
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
