Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
