That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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