i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
