At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
