So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
