In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
