doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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