Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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