on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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