Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
