walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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