I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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