yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
