We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
