I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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