i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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