just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
