Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
