5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
