I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
