My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
