i don't like sucking hair
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
