My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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