She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
