We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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