I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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