so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
