just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
