she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize