ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
