i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
