You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Randomize
