Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
