Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
