doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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