Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
