I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
