okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
